Waiting to be heard

I love speaking

my squeaky voice

sailing through

its shrill pitch cracking a ear drum or two.

I love saying what I feel

dressing my thoughts in words beautiful

I say them loud

or write them down.

I love sharing what I have

giving generously

gaining modestly

or just making friends.

Yet the one who tearing the ramparts

of my soul ensconced himself in my heart

is stone deaf to my silence,my words,my sighs.

She looked up with eyes mirroring her heart

Turning my gaze,I sighed, I know.

 

PS: For often there are stories of strife, of pain,which we know of yet act ignorant.

So She Spoke

Long hair dangling

elongated breasts touching the navel

aged with wisdom of living

she spoke softly

I lived well

I was told how to live

I felt the right emotions at the right time

I was told what to feel and when

I expressed rightly

I was tutored what to say and when

I knew I was happy

I was told what happiness meant

the ecstasies and the exhilaration

of living were cast in iron for me

Since this was so

I never complained

Until I let my hair lose in the morning and night

As my arms flailed

I discovered a someone in me too late

She was a stranger

mean, demeaning,demanding

I had no answer for her

except that I taught my girls and their girls

to feel what they feel

to laugh and smile

to live as they want to live

with my long hair and long breasts

they take me well

so I speak

let tomorrow be free!

 

An Unequal Giving

The path is oblivious of its end

its mantra being to

wind and unwind

to just go on

or stop abruptly.

Sometimes on finding an opening

in the bushes

behind the walls

after the river

the path sets out again

on a timeless,boundless journey

in another direction

to an end it does not care about.

The traveler eager,fervent in his desires

unsure of himself

weds himself to the path

hoping fervently for her attention

her care, her comfort and her arms

ties his heart and soul to the path.

Its an unequal giving

one gives his all

the other does not give nor gain

Indifferent,sufficient in herself

complete and content

she neither hopes nor regrets

she knows no care, nor love, nor hatred

to those who take her or those who abandon her

She is what she is because she is

winding and unwinding to eternity.

 

 

 

The Beginning of the End

So often in life you wonder of that which ended.

Where did the end begin? Did you not see it coming? Or did you see and then choose not to look? When does that exact moment happen?

The beginning of an end in a relationship, in a career, in sports,in friendship where does it start? How does it happen? Are you at that point in time aware of a certain closing, a certain shutting off ? Do you then sense a new beginning or does the end shut you down altogether?

Can we so to say, hold on those moments and subtly alter their course, influence the end or the next beginning.

When did that hotel which was doing such brisk business begin to fail?

When did that family which looked so tight, strongly bound begin to crumble?

When did that young person flashing his muscles begin to be a bore for her who adored him?

When did she who seemed to have the world at her feet, literally, lose it all?

I have no answers. I do think though that if  we are tuned in to our intuitions we  perhaps have an idea of the whys and hows? But one couldn’t be sure.

If you can answer all questions you would be god, some one joked the other day. I wonder though if he who knows it all, knows it well! Perhaps he is wondering too….

 

Dons at Dhwani

Dons at Dhwani !!!Beware!!!

(Statutory warning issued in the interest of Toast Masters past, present & future)

All the motor mouths head west

and the rest well! REST or RUST!!!

So the motor mouths

those with the gift of the gab

head west and sit

tight in tension

awaiting the roll call…..

When suddenly he appears materializing from thin air

flashing the sword and buckling the sash

eh? the sergeant ….the one always at arms

you gonna attend the call

your boy friend’s or nature’s?!

know that the Sergeant is always around

Is he the Angel?

Nah, my friend, he’s the wily Agnel

Posing to be your uncle eyeing you

With a rule book in hand!

You try to escape and are caught by the one who

peers, jeers and investigates

your progressions and your many digressions

you better be good

coz she can mark you wrong

she even tracks you with vengeance

roaring CCs and CLs into your dreams

They call her Naina

the VP Ed who can leave you quite dead

You take a turn to left

And bump into the lady in red

thunder trails

and lightning flashes

when she makes you wish her not once but thrice

she even exacts a price

by putting your worst picture on FB and god knows where!

She’s called Ambika

they say she is kinda PR-rrring

Beware of this one even more dangerous

Disguising her smartness in her lithe frame

forever calculative and chasing

do this, do that,

counting points,dreaming trophies

she hunts you down

for every sound you ever made

stay clear, that’s Meghala

she’s the President I hear!

The other day I smiled by mistake

and the lady with curls

and a bindi in place

pushed a form into my trembling hand

& with a gun to my forehead

Roared, SUBMIT!

That’s the one called Vani

Quite the dread

Always hunting for members

alive or dead!

This one, the gentler of the 2 men in the fold

Makes you think he is somewhat sane

but beware the man

asks for money, money, money every time

forcing you to pay up

every time you turn up

he is the Treasurer

take to heels if you value your life

They call him Prakash

Better be aware fella!

The one another with a slow sly smile

is rather thin

and is watching you close, your every move

whether you open your mouth

or you shut it twice

he makes a note and reports it too

he is called the Secretary

and goes by the name Chetan , no,not Satan!

It’s a dreadful gang

here at Dhwani

yet I wonder why

men & women flock

(for what joy!)

PS: Dhwani Toast Masters Club is a vibrant active place on Bannerghatta Road in Bangalore. Each Toast Masters Club has a list of officers who are in charge of running the club. Starting with Sergeant at Arms, Secretary, Treasurer,VP PR,VP Ed and the President. The officers are constantly chasing targets,some times making members’ life a little difficult.This is the account of a much harassed member.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Memories of what is and what is not

some memories of events are graphic even if they never occurred

coming as if from another life, another century

heart strings are leashed together across caste, creed or color

ignorant of the glare of incomprehensible gasps, murmur and even hatred

but like water that never forgets its course

the all knowing life nudges you to where you belong

pushing you through vales and highs of pain and pleasure

flowing past you through death after death in continuum.

Talking Soul

*After the darkest days

beyond the harshest experiences

the soul still smiles

that’s the secret of life*

*Even in the silence of my tongue

my heart is eloquent

the one who listens

knows me well*

*Coz death comes home

a compulsive visitor

in your joys or sorrows

the wise open the door

smile gracing the soul*

*Unbeknowest to me

I held forth a promise

a seedling that grew wild yet strong

in the harshness of time and chance

when recovering from amnesia

the moment I acknowledged

the promise that I am

I know I exist*

*When at last  you came

I had put up my hopes

dusty dreams were thrown out of my cupboard

in the nook and crannies of my heart

debts and ditch sat side by side

but then you came

opening a chink in my armor

spreading like fragrance in my head

and it seemed like a good life again*